Yesterday I became an inventor. But I don’t know how to go about it.
I figured I could “poor man’s copyright” them by “publishing” them here on my “blog”.
That way I can say “see I had that idea back in July 2010!” with the added benefit that no one reads my blog or visits my website, so no one will ever steal them.
First invention: THE DOG BOX. It’s a airplane style indestructable black box with a speaker and the constant sound of a dog barking. You hide or bury in on the property of a neighbor whose dog barks non stop while they are at work or out clubbing.
Second: It’s not an invention persay but more a marketing idea. Much like all the Airborne cold tablets whose “statements have not been evaluated by the FDA” that are not intented to diagnose, treat, or cure any disease, my new invention would be some flim flam (vitamins and alkaseltzer) marketed as an MSG blocker.
Despite the fact that the minute soy sauce hits the pan it becomes MSG, and that numerous studies have pretty well concluded that MSG sensitivity is hard to find in a controlled study (must be magic), people still think that MSG gives them headaches and such.
So here is my radio play:
Woman: “I love Chinese food! But the MSG gives me headaches.”
Man: “You haven’t heard about MSG Blocker? [I need a better name]”
Woman: “MSG Blocker???”
Man: “MSG Blocker is an all natural product that works with your bodies natural…you know…whatever…to block the negative effects of MSG.”
Woman: “Now I can eat all the Chinese food and all the chips I want!”
Third: The third invention is an improvement on an existing invention. I was told yesterday about the marshmellow guns that shoot marshmellows. Well my new invention would set that marshmellow on fire before launching.
Don’t steal them!
